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Opened May 19, 2005
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Episode III is finally here. After seeing it twelve times in theaters, you can see my review here. What follows is a spoilerific summary of the movie.

Summary:

Episode III begins with an epic space battle, although it's really only following two small Jedi Starfighters, new models that are reminiscent of TIE fighters. Anakin and Obi-Wan are on a mission to rescue Chancellor Palpatine from the escaping Separatist forces. R2-D2's first action sequence of the movie takes place when deadly buzz droids latch on to the starfighters, and he zaps them with a little gun hidden in his dome.

Then the intrepid Jedi reach the Separatist flagship, crash-land in the hanger bay, jump out as their starfighters are still skidding across the bay, kill some droids, have R2 locate the Chancellor, and they're on their way.

R2 gets his next fight scene at this point: a couple super battle droids enter the hanger bay looking for the Jedi and find him instead. One picks him up, and R2 then squirts him with oil, making a sizable puddle on the ground and slipping the two SPDs. As the one holding him falls, he ignites his booster jets, ignited the oil, burning the SPDs, and hovering to safety.

Obi-Wan and Anakin find the Chancellor trapped in a chair on the observation deck of the cruiser. Dooku then confronts them, and the first (but certainly not last) lightsaber duel of the movie begins. Dooku takes Obi-Wan out of the fight, rendering him unconscious. Then Anakin really lets loose, and quickly behands (as in behead, but behand) Dooku. Finally, with Palpatine egging him on, Anakin takes both his and Dooku's lightsabers and scissors off the Count's head.

It's the first, but certainly not last, exhibition of Anakin's dark side. It's also the first dark moment of the film, period. The plot quickly moves on, though, as Anakin -- despite the Chancellor's urgings to the contrary -- takes an unconscious Obi-Wan and heads for the exit.

The Republic almost dooms its own heroes, though, as they hammer the Invisible Hand. The Separatist flagship begins falling into Coruscant's gravity well, and with artificial gravity on the ship malfunction, the whole screen kind of... tilts. Soon Anakin (carrying Obi-Wan) and the Chancellor are running down the wall of the elevator shaft. Then the Hand rights itself, though, and they begin slipping and sliding again.

The trio, all now conscious, is surrounded, captured, and brought to the bridge, where they confront Grievous. He flees, though, thanks to a nifty bit of impromptu depressurization. Anakin must pilot what's left of the Hand to the ground, and the ensuing aerial shots are incredible. Needless to say, all three of them survive. :-)

Next comes the most dreaded part of Episode III for fans around the world: romance. It neccessary, though, and relatively quick and painless, compared to the love scenes of Episode II. Padme informs Anakin that she's pregnant, and they both worry about the consequences for their secret marriage. Then things take a turn for the worse as Anakin begins having visions of Padme's death in childbirth.

Meanwhile, the rift between Anakin, the Jedi Council, and Palpatine is widening. The movie slows down around this point somewhat, but that's like going from sprinting to jogging -- it nevers comes to a crawl. Some may find the scenes boring. However, the action soon picks up again, as Yoda is dispatched to Kashyyyk -- yes!!! The Wookiee planet makes an excellent, if short, appearance.

Palpatine continues to seduce Anakin, subtly telling him of the unnatural powers the Sith possess. He also informs Anakin that Grievous is hiding in the Outer Rim, and Obi-Wan is sent to Utapau to investigate. He takes on the general and, eventually, after a thrilling five-saber fight, a nice little chase, and some hand-to-hand, defeats him.

With two of the Order's most powerful Jedi out of the way, Palpatine makes his move. He offers to help Anakin save his wife, if Anakin will give in to the dark side. Anakin realizes he's the Sith Lord, and, showing he's still a (mainly) noble Jedi, alerts Mace Windu to the true nature of their evil leader.

Anakin knows, though, that by dooming Palpatine he's destroying any chance of saving his wife. As the four Jedi attempt to arrest Palpatine -- three are taken out almost immediately, leaving only Windu -- Anakin takes off in a speeder for the Chancellor's office. As he enters he finds Palpatine, unarmed, up against a wall, with Mace's lightsaber pointing menacingly at him. He refuses to give up, though, and looses a stream of Force lightning at Mace. He blocks with his lightsaber, reflecting the dark energy back at Palpatine. As Anakin watches in alarm, the Chancellor's face twists and withers into that of Emperor. Palpatine gives up, claiming to be to weak to go on. Anakin pleads with Mace to spare the Chancellor's life and leave his fate to the courts, but Mace believes the Sith Lord to be too powerful and too dangerous. As he prepares to strike...

Chop.

Uh-oh, there goes Mace's hand and saber, out the shattered window.

Zap.

Uh-oh, there goes Mace, out the shattered window.

"Ah..."

Uh-oh, there's a happy dictator. That can't be good. Anakin has pretty much just given in... it's too late for him, now. Now that he knows he won't be welcomed by the Jedi, he might as well throw his lot in with the Chancellor and hope to save his wife.

From then on it's pretty much downhill. The Jedi are slaughtered as Order 66 is executed across the galaxy by Clone Troopers who -- just to clear this up -- weren't brainwashed, and weren't evil. They were loyal. Order 66 was a worst-case scenario for them. It told them that the Jedi had tried to overthrow the Republic. As they love the institution they serve, they do whatever they must to eradicate this threat. And it's not a long, painful, "Well, should I really shoot my friend in the back?" It's a split-second reaction -- something quite neccessary as a soldier on the front lines.

Anyway, Obi-Wan's chased off Utapau and meets up with Bail Organa and Yoda on -- gasp! -- the Tantive IV (although some will argue whether or not it's a different ship). They return to Coruscant in order to sabotage an evil plan to trick any surviving Jedi into returning to the galactic capital. When they find out what happens, Yoda stays behind to take on the Emperor while Obi-Wan (much to his regret) tracks down Anakin.